


i'm weak

by kennyshui



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennyshui/pseuds/kennyshui
Summary: shuichi's always felt weighed down by something, and it was always worse at night.he just never expected his best friend could ever feel the same.
Relationships: Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	i'm weak

Cold autumn air rushed through the night as Shuichi wandered outside in front of his dorm, pacing back and forth with a pen between two fingers, using a third to flick it up and down. He was just looking for a distraction. He could feel his heart beat in his ears, the general anxiety rush and negative emotions practically controlling him. 

In truth, Shuichi didn’t know how to cope with his thoughts a ton of the time. Especially at night. The night was the worst. He truthfully did not know why, it just happened. The mind can be a warzone; dangerous and ravaging. It could be the overarching stress of life, or it could just be that he couldn’t be left alone. The night can be dark and empty, which can transmit into human thoughts.

I’ll call someone, he thought, before quickly smothering the thought and bringing it to the back of his mind. The last thing Shuichi wanted to do was burden someone else with his problems, especially when he didn’t even understand them, and especially this late at night.

But… he truly did need someone to listen. Against his own instincts, he looked through his contact list, before clicking on Kaito’s name. The best friend Shuichi could’ve asked for. Shuichi took a shaky breath, before clicking the call button. In an instant, Kaito answered the phone.

“Hey Shuichi. Is everything alright? It’s pretty late,” Kaito asked, in a groggy tone that made Shuichi’s heart flutter. It was just nice to hear someone else's voice.

“It’s… not that good. Bad night, I guess. Uh…”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“Wha-”

“Shuichi, if you need me to come over, I can right now. Remember, my worries are your worries! I’ll always be there for you, bro.” Kaito’s voice sounded safe and secure. It was what Shuichi needed.

“Yeah, I’d honestly really like that. Just need to let it out, I guess,” Shuchi basically whispered. The nighttime air was sending shivers down his spine, and his anxiety was already at a high enough level.

“Alright, sit tight, I’m coming. Give me 5. Cya, sidekick,” Kaito said, before hanging up.

It’ll be ok, Shuichi thought, he just needed to talk it out. Just that little call calmed him down a tiny bit. He was just happy to have a friend like Kaito. He opened the room to his dorm and headed inside, waiting for the astronaut to be there.

-

Kaito threw on his hoodie, and swiftly walked out the door. Shuichi’s dorm wasn’t that far from his. He could make it there in a few minutes.

He just didn’t know if he should be going with how he was feeling.

Kaito prided himself on always being there for people, especially his best friend. It was what made him most happy at times. However, it came at the expense of Kaito’s own needs. He could never admit he had those dark, hopeless thoughts. Never in his wildest dreams would he be broken and disheveled in front of his friends; the last thing he wanted to do was be vulnerable and have his heart strung out on a line. Especially when his friends needed him most.

I just have to help Shuichi, he thought to himself, he could put on the act he always did whenever he himself felt shackled down by his own head. That’s what he wanted to do, at least. 

In truth, Kaito wishes he could be as open about his problems as Shuichi was. Deep down, he wanted resolve, but the feeling of weighing down others who needed it; who, in his mind, truly needed it, was something he could never do. So the charade continued, constantly being the positive beacon of light for his friends, just never for himself. He would never admit to anyone that he also had weaknesses.

Kaito made his way to the door and he trembled a bit. All he had to do was help was what repeated in his mind the entire time.

“Just help Shuichi, don’t think about what you’re feeling,” he whispered to himself, before knocking on the door.

In seconds, he was greeted by the frail detective. Dark blue locks laid on his forehead, resting right before his grey eyes that seemed a lot darker than usual. Of course they did, he was in pain, Kaito thought to himself.

“Thank you, really, it… it means a lot…” Shuchi stammered. He always talked like this when anxious.

“Of course, dude, always.” Kaito spoke in the same strong tone he always did, although it was noticeably subdued due to the time, as well as his own feelings.

Neither of them spoke as Kaito entered the door and put a hand on Shuichi's shaky shoulder.

This isn’t about you, just, help him. Go home and deal with yourself after, Kaito thought to himself.

That’s all he had to do.

-

Within instances of coming in, Shuichi and Kaito both went over to Shuichi’s bed and sat there. Kaito put his arm around Shuichi, which he knew always comforted Shuichi whenever he was having these moments. It made Shuichi happy just to have Kaito there, his warmth radiated on to him, his eyes and smile dazzled him. It just made him feel less alone.

“So, what’s up?” Kaito asked, his tone calm. The last thing he wanted was to overwhelm Shuichi.

“Just… everything, I guess… I-I don’t know what to do. I’m just… scared. Everything feels like it’s just… kind of shutting down,” Shuichi paused and took a breath, which Kaito took as a motion to pull him closer. “I just… I hate these feelings. I-I thought I was getting bet-better, but I… I guess I wasn’t. It just e-eats at me.” Shuichi was extremely tense. Soon, tears began forming in his eyes.

“I just...I don’t want to feel these things anymore… I hate it. I-I hate it so much,” Shuichi whimpered, causing Kaito’s heart to turn.

I know, I understand how it feels, is all Kaito wanted to say. He wanted to show Shuichi that someone else knew what that felt like. His best friend knew his pain. He could help just by relatability!

But… he could never admit he was weak. He could never crush Shuichi with his own problems.

So… he did what he always did. He told Shuichi all the positives he can hold. He whispered to him the sweet little words he always used to encourage him. He brought him up in his darkest moments and will continue to do that…

But for once, Kaito wanted to be the one who received those sweet words. The ones that uplift the soul.

Shuichi eventually was able to regain some composure, his hectic mind slowing down. He wiped the tears away and looked at Kaito with tired and glossy eyes, before embracing him as tightly as he could manage. Kaito instantly held the smaller boy in his arms.

“Thank you Kaito… you are the most amazing person I could have in my life,” Shuichi managed.

Damn it. That did it.

It was not the first time Shuichi gave him such high praise… it happened often, especially when he broke down and couldn’t handle himself. However, Kaito’s mind was already in turmoil, and just hearing those words, sweet words he loved to hear, it broke him.

In second, tears welled up in Kaito’s eyes, and while he desperately tried to fight it back, he just couldn't. For the first time, Kaito broke down in front of his sidekick. No, his best friend, the best friend he could ever ask for. He felt awful.

“K-Kaito!?! Are you okay?” Shuichi asked. Neither of them left the embrace, and maybe that was for the better.

Kaito couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think. He just didn’t want to admit that he understood and felt the same. He couldn’t be weak! What type of hero would he be if he couldn’t even handle his own thoughts? What hero leaves their sidekick with all his problems? A worthless one, that’s what he thought, at least.

But… he was in too deep. It’s not like he didn’t want Shuichi to know, he just knew how much Shuichi had gone through. He just didn’t want to bother him.

“Kaito… it’s ok. Please… I understand,” Shuichi began, “you… you always help me. I want to try and help you too. I might not be the best at it, but… I care about you.”

“T-thank you, Shu…” is all Kaito could manage, before the waterworks spilled out even more. They held onto each other as Kaito explained whatever he could between sobs.

Shuichi knew all too well the crushing feeling of anxiety and hopelessness, almost as if all life could freeze and he would never know. He was always in his head, and the dragging feeling hung at him. It stuck on him like ice to a pole and never left.

He just never would’ve guessed Kaito could ever feel the same way.

-

It took several seconds… or minutes… or hours, even, before it felt like everything calmed down. By the time the waterworks had settled, they both were exhausted. The emotions felt that night were heavy, but in a sense, relieving.

“I-I’m sorry Shu… I didn’t mean to just… brea-” Shuichi put a finger to his lips to signal Kaito to stop talking.

“Ah… sorry, but don’t apologize. Please. I want to help you too… it’s ok to talk about your emotions… I know how hard it is to suffer silently,” Shuichi said with a faint smile. The smile made Kaito feel just a little bit better about what had occurred.

“I guess… I just didn’t wanna admit I could be weak,” Kaito remarked.

“I’d argue that saying your feelings makes you a little bit stronger, I’d say… if you have the courage to ask for help, at least,” Shuichi responded. Kaito smiled in response.

Kaito looked up at the ceiling before realizing he should probably head back to his dorm. A part of him didn’t want to, however, but he didn’t want to intrude on Shuichi’s space much longer. Getting up, though, he felt a little tug at his sleeve.

“Ah… I was just wondering if you could stay. It might be good for both of us just to have someone there,” Shuichi sputtered out. “Of course… you don’t have to stay! Just… just a thought.”

“I’d love to Shuichi,” Kaito responded. They both looked at each other with the widest smiles they could muster, before Kaito flopped down onto the bed next to Shuichi. They were both exhausted.

“Uh… would you mind if we maybe cuddled… I just think it’d b-be nice,” Shuichi stuttered, becoming bright red in an instance. Thank goodness Kaito couldn’t tell.

Kaito simply drooped an arm around the boy. It felt nice for both of them to have someone there.

“Hey Kaito… thank you for everything. I love you.”

“I love you too, Shuichi.”

**Author's Note:**

> i love these two sm i just had to write something for them.  
> wrote it during an anxiety episode and finished it up and just wanted to put it out there.  
> this was my first fic. really nervous about posting this but i hope you all enjoy it!


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